Where is He? part I

“Where is he? The man who was just like me
I heard he was hiding somewhere I can’t see” Amy Whinehouse

 
I am in my mid 20’s and in my group of friends, I am the only one single and without a child. There are days that I am grateful for the freedom that I have. There are also days when I am lonely. As I said  in my last post I struggle with having patience and waiting. It is not easy for me to stand or sit still. I am always looking for the quick way out. 
Although I grew up in the church my previous relationship was not Christ centered. Close to the end of that relationship I met a couple my age at my church. For some odd reason the wife invited me out to dinner with them and I accepted. I never turn down free food! During this dinner we talked and I got a chance to see them interact. It was a bit annoying and at the same time it made me happy. It gave me hope watching them and I saw the difference god made in their connection with each other.
When that relationship finally came to an end, I was unsure where I would go next. I was trying to figure out what kind of man I wanted in my life. I saw what a Christ centered relationship looked like, but I still didn’t make it a priority on my list. Dating started off simple enough and it quickly evolved into a huge drain of energy. I tried whatever my friends suggested for me to find someone. After months of failed dating out of frustration I had a chat with my sister. Our conversation went like this…
Me: I just don’t understand the men God has brought into my life. Some of them are a mess, dating is so stupid.
My sis: God brings? Wait aren't you the one looking for these guys? I don’t think God has anything to do with that mess. Lol
She laughed but what she said hit me; she was right. I was bringing the mess into my life.