Guest Post by Nina -The Grand Adventures of Me

Hey, new friends! I'm Nina from The Grand Adventures of Me, where I blog about life in my early twenties and the struggles of cuddling with stinkbugs and trying to find my own voice in this crazy thing we call life. I really do love my life, though, even though I'm really dramatic about period cramps, and how I am the world's worst English major.  I think a big reason I have joy is because I have the joy of Christ and His peace in my heart. But honestly, it's not always been like that, despite my "Christian" title that I've held for almost 17 years.  When Miss Sue asked me to guest post for her, I jumped at the chance and perused her blog, and y'all, I love how honest she is about the struggles that she is working through, especially the whole singleness and loneliness. As women in our twenties, it can really bum us out to see our friends getting engaged and having children and it seems like they are moving on with their lives and meanwhile we're the awkward turtle at the Christmas party who just doesn't care.  

This gem has been floating around the internet for a couple weeks, and I found it a very relatable post.

In all honesty, though, I think that's okay. It's not okay that we don't care, but maybe we're in a different place in life than they are. I'm pretty tired of all the:  "Work on yourself until you meet your future man." "Singleness is a gift." "Find your completion in God and He'll bring the right one along." "Let Jesus be your lover."   Yes, that's good and all, but that doesn't help whenever you're standing alone at a New Years Eve party. I think we do need to make Christ a priority in our lives so that when we do have families of our own, we can encourage our children to look to our Savior in all circumstances. I think what is equally as important, though, is finding the confidence in who we are as daughters of God. We are not waiting for our other half to come along, because we are whole only in Christ. We are beautiful daughters of the highest King, and our walk, our talk, our smile and demeanor should exude the confidence we are given by Him. So chin up and smile during these last few days of the holiday season, and love love love yourself, your family, your friends, and even the grumpy cashier at Walmart! 

26 Random Things

 

        

Travel Bucket List

 

Tonight I watched Eat Pray Love.  For those of you who never watched the movie its about a woman that traveled to three different countries to find herself. Midway through the movie I started to day dream of all the countries I hope to see someday. This is the my travel bucket list.

Travel Bucket List

   

 

                  Thailand                                        India

                                     

                                        Australia                                        Japan

    

                     Peru                                                         Egypt

                                           

                                          Portugal                                            England       

 

                          Indonesia                                  Costa Rica

                

                                                           Italy                                                 Spain

Jesus Is The Reason For The Season

 

The month of December is always exciting and joyous. The thought of gifts, food, family reunions, new clothes and shoes always brings a smile to my face. It is easy to get wrapped up into unimportant things. I must remember that this month is not about me. This season is to celebrate this birth of child that came to the earth for us. This beautiful child was born that we may have everlasting life. This makes me think of my favorite Christmas Carol 'O Holy Night' which was written by Placide Cappeau de Roquemaure in 1847. Although he was wine seller by trade he was asked by the parish priest to write a poem for Christmas. He wrote O Holy Night and later agreed to add music to the beautiful words.

O Holy Night!

O Holy Night! The stars are brightly shining,
It is the night of the dear Saviour's birth.
Long lay the world in sin and error pining.
Till He appeared and the Spirit felt its worth.
A thrill of hope the weary world rejoices,
For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn.
Fall on your knees! Oh, hear the angel voices!
O night divine, the night when Christ was born;
O night, O Holy Night , O night divine!
O night, O Holy Night , O night divine!

Led by the light of faith serenely beaming,
With glowing hearts by His cradle we stand.
O'er the world a star is sweetly gleaming,
Now come the wisemen from out of the Orient land.
The King of kings lay thus lowly manger;
In all our trials born to be our friends.
He knows our need, our weakness is no stranger,
Behold your King! Before him lowly bend!
Behold your King! Before him lowly bend!

Truly He taught us to love one another,
His law is love and His gospel is peace.
Chains he shall break, for the slave is our brother.
And in his name all oppression shall cease.
Sweet hymns of joy in grateful chorus raise we,
With all our hearts we praise His holy name.

  Christ is the Lord! Then ever, ever praise we,
His power and glory ever more proclaim!
His power and glory ever more proclaim!

Let this Christmas be more than just opening gifts, eating more than you can fit in your stomach and shopping until you drop. Take time to remember what this season is really about. Spread love and be kind to one another. Go out and take care of those less fortunate and those without families. We must remember that Jesus is the reason for the season!

 

 

Friendships Survey

 

On sunday I was invited to a cookie exchange hosted by someone I met at a recent church event. I had an opportunity to hang out with a group of girls with different backgrounds & personalities.  I left excited because I am always looking for more friends. On my drive home I thought about my current friends and how I will juggle time between them. I felt a sense of sadness and guilt because I don’t spend time with most of them like I should. Then I thought about why? I started to mentally break down the reasons I avoid some of them.  I started to think about which ones I value and why? I mentally started to put all my so called friends into categories. I had friends I call for everything, friends I call to go shopping, friends I talk to on Facebook, friends I talk to about religion, friends I go to for advice. I think by the end I ended up with 8 categories. This left me even more conflicted, so I called my cousin. I asked him if he had categories for his friendships and if he ever felt guilty for leaving some behind. He told me that he struggled with the guilt of letting old friends go because how strong their past bonds were. I felt this before, I always hear “You never leave your old friends for new friends”. Ok good advice so instead I just kept them all! My cousin ended the conversation talking about Ronald McDonald and how he dropped all his friends. Now you only see Ronald McDonald  alone yet the company is bigger than ever.

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Research

Today I woke up curious about what other people thought. I went Facebook and asked 12 of my 150 friends these questions.

1. What is your definition of friendship?

2. Do you have your friends in categories/labels? What are the categories/labels?

3. If so why?

I was surprised by what I saw; I wasn’t the only one that had a 100 kinds of friends. 9 out of the 12 told me they had over 5 categories. Some of the categories I got

1. Friends I call for advice (Don’t call for anything else)                                  

2. Friends I travel with (don’t talk about anything important on travels)                                      

3. My wild I want to have a good time friends (aka the friends I only drink with)

Some had friends for different interests, others talked about reliability.

The different definition of friendship I got were

1. One person said “who I call a friend depends on my mood”.

2. A friend is someone I hang out with.

3. A friends is someone I have an interest in common with. I have so many because I have so many interests.

*The other 3 said they only had friends and people they know. I asked them what their definition of what a friend was. All three responded with similar answers

1. Someone I can count on to support me. I can talk to them about everything

2. Someone who is there for everything, someone I can be myself with.

3. Someone who is there for me, is a positive influence and encourages me

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This all really opened my eyes to what people think about friendships. It made me ask the question, why do we need so many categories?

I went back to my own definition of friendship. My answer also started off as someone who I hang out with. Midway through my survey it occurred to me that my definition of friendships was very blurry and loose. Can I really say that someone I only call to go shopping with is a friend? I thought about those friends I have had forever. I often feel guilty letting them go, which is why I let my definition of friendship become so loose. If I was to be honest with myself these old “friends” have served their purpose. I went back to the girls I value and my reasons why. These girls don’t all share my likes; some are of a different race and background. Most of them I rarely see but I talk to daily or weekly. I used this to formulate my new definition of what I consider a friend. By my new definition of friendship I now only have one category. You are either a friend or not.

 

 

What I learned

I think that we need to reexamine our definition of friendships and our bonds with others. If we did we would feel liberated from the shackles of dead friendships. Redefining my friends gives new value to the friends I really have. I now have a clear picture of who my friends are and why they are so special. From now on I will be more careful how I use the word friend.

What is your definition of friendship?

 

“When you choose your friends, don't be short-changed by choosing personality over character.”
―W. Somerset Maugham

Blogmopolitan Quiz

I did not want to write today but I ran into Two Thirds Hazel’s blog link called Blogmopolitan. I also used to collect all the issues<Reading the magazine was one of my guilty pleasures, so for fun I filled it out.

To see the post and link go to  http://www.twothirdshazel.com

 

The Event

 

 

In my post yesterday I said I was going to make a serious effort to make friends and to be active in the community. Today was day 1! My church has a group for young adults that meets the second friday of each month called the EVENT. The promise of good food, fun and music is always tempting. I have been wanting to go but due to a forgetful mind I never made it.This time I set my computer and phone schedules to remind me.

 

OFF TO A BAD START

I go to a very big church that has two big buildings on the main location. I was running late and assumed that we would meet at the main church building where service is held. I ran in and saw a crowd of people in a room with the lights dim. I walked in the room and noticed a few kids and older folks. I thought  maybe since it was a Christmas event everyone was invited; I took a seat. After a minute of hearing a testimony I looked around and saw the signs for the recovery group. OK…Wrong place

At that very moment they announced they were going to recite their vow. I thought it was a good idea to leave unnoticed at that point. I thought about going home and say that I at least tried. However, I decided to drive to the other building instead and try my luck. Thank goodness I finally found the right place.

Good times and “after Party”

It was a little uncomfortable at first when I walked in. Most people seemed to be in small groups around the room. I sat at a table with another guy that was there for the first time. A few minutes later a member from a male group asked the guy sitting with me to sit with them. I thought “great now its just me” thankfully that wasn’t for long. I was invited to sit with a group of girls that were all very nice. Through the next couple hours we played different games that came with prizes.

Highlight of my night- As groups we had six minutes to make a ginger bread house

                                                         Our Masterpiece

 

When the event at the church ended a group of us went to the “After Party” at Chili’s. Not your typical after party though, instead of liquor and beer we had coffee, water or tea. There were a lot of awesome conversations, good laughs and yes some random awkward moments. In all I had a GREAT night, I will definitely be going back!

The Search for Community

 

I moved back home over a year ago and have since been in a small bubble. My circle consist of two high school friends and my immediate family. I have lots of friends all around the world but obviously because of the distance I don’t see them often. A typical day would consist of me talking to them on the phone, Skype and Facebook. The problem is there are days when I want to get out the house and try a new activity. Most of the time I have no one to go with me. That’s when I say to myself “I need to find local friends”

 

I have avoided finding new friends for several reasons….

1.To be honest I didn’t want to put in the effort.

2. Don’t know where to start looking for friends(Do I really need to do a craigslist add)

3. The awkward introductions(Hi I’m blah blah… awkward silence)

4.(related to 3) Having to say my story over and over again

5. I’m kind of lazy online takes no effort

After a year of sitting at home bored I finally decided I’m going to do something about it.

I have signed up for

•  http://www.meetup.com/ 
• https://www.eventbrite.com/
• My church young adult group

My church has a young adult group that meets once a month called the Event. Tomorrow will be my first time going, Wish me luck!

Poem

Guest Post by V.Watson

LOVE

I know you've been hurt, and think love's not for you, but listen to your heart, and you'll know that's not true, think back to the times, when love was something new, it wasn't just a game, or something fun to do, remember when you smiled, at the thought of someone for you, God has a plan, and there is nothing you can do, except live, learn, and take it as it comes, don't turn your back on it, cause there's nowhere else to run, think of all the things you've been through, is this really what you want, when love truly reaches you, and you know you've found the One, embrace true happiness, and make 10 problems turn to none, they'll care for you whole heartedly, and help you see the Sun, when they look at you like nothing else matters, you'll know your number 1, love comes with patience and serenity, surrounded by security within, if you let fear or regret hold you back, you'll never know what true love really is, let the past be the past, and allow the future to be a mystery, if you do anything more, your present replays your history, Love will come to you at the moment you least expect, so stay open hearted/ willing, and be ready to accept, butterflies, passion, the unknown, and everything above, cause when these emotions hit you, it won't be nothing but LOVE.

BY V.Watson

Where is He? part II

I had to be honest with myself and admit that all the terrible dates were my fault. Conversation with my sister continued…
Me:how do you suggest I find a mate then? I have done everything.
Sis: except do nothing, you need to find a seat and chill out.
Do nothing? I was left speechless. If I do nothing I take a chance of missing out.   Recently I ran into a article about a woman that never remarried after her husband was listed MIA by the military.  She said waited 60 years until it was finally confirmed her husband had died in battle. I thought I was waiting a long time, I cant imagine waiting 60 years.That lead me to look for other examples of someone waiting for a loved one. This is what I came up with.
The Note book-Allie claimed to wait 7 years for Noah to come for her. Noah then told her he wrote her a letter a day for a year.
The Odyssey -Penelope the wife of Odysseus waited for 20 years while her husband fought at Troy and was set off course on his way home.
Genesis 29 -Jacob worked 14 years to be be with his love Rachel.
What great examples of patience and discipline. I don’t know how they did it because I find waiting a week a challenge. I guess I need to find a hobby and keep myself busy. That my friends is one of the reasons why I started blogging!
 
“our willingness to wait reveals the value we place on the object we're waiting for.” Charles Stanley

Where is He? part I

“Where is he? The man who was just like me
I heard he was hiding somewhere I can’t see” Amy Whinehouse

 
I am in my mid 20’s and in my group of friends, I am the only one single and without a child. There are days that I am grateful for the freedom that I have. There are also days when I am lonely. As I said  in my last post I struggle with having patience and waiting. It is not easy for me to stand or sit still. I am always looking for the quick way out. 
Although I grew up in the church my previous relationship was not Christ centered. Close to the end of that relationship I met a couple my age at my church. For some odd reason the wife invited me out to dinner with them and I accepted. I never turn down free food! During this dinner we talked and I got a chance to see them interact. It was a bit annoying and at the same time it made me happy. It gave me hope watching them and I saw the difference god made in their connection with each other.
When that relationship finally came to an end, I was unsure where I would go next. I was trying to figure out what kind of man I wanted in my life. I saw what a Christ centered relationship looked like, but I still didn’t make it a priority on my list. Dating started off simple enough and it quickly evolved into a huge drain of energy. I tried whatever my friends suggested for me to find someone. After months of failed dating out of frustration I had a chat with my sister. Our conversation went like this…
Me: I just don’t understand the men God has brought into my life. Some of them are a mess, dating is so stupid.
My sis: God brings? Wait aren't you the one looking for these guys? I don’t think God has anything to do with that mess. Lol
She laughed but what she said hit me; she was right. I was bringing the mess into my life.

He that can have Patience

He that can have Patience, can have what he will- Benjamin Franklin

Every one that knows me will describe me as a little bit impatient. Waiting is one of the things I struggle with. I will say it is because I am a little hyper (like Elmo) and always ready to go. I am also a person that needs to know EVERYTHING

How bad is it?

Hmm this is a little weird, but I need to know every detail of a movie before I watch it. I am not talking about the short summary you will find online. This girl (Me)  has found a website that describes every detail and event that occurs in whatever movie I look up. Even the new releases (I often wonder how do they complete this so quickly)  Yes I am that girl that will ask a million annoying questions about a show or movie. If you are wonder how does this not ruin the movie, my answer is a lot of times the visuals surprise me and the movie is just as exciting. I also record most of my TV shows because I don't like waiting for commercials. If it happens to be a boring part of the show or TV movie I fast forward. 

I will call in to Panera (awesome food) to place an order to go, sometimes even if I am eating there.

I am probably the only girl that hates to shop because I  don't like spending hours looking for clothes and trying them on. Most time I get the same shirt in multiple colors and I'm on my way.Yes I know, I have been told this is terrible.

The world has become a place of convenience, fast pace and short conversations. Most of the time I am not required to wait too long for what I want. However, waiting on God is a whole different story. I feel like I have been enrolled into Patience/Waiting 101

“You must wait on me for your directions” this is what God says to me constantly. I am always asking when? What? Where? How? And my favorite… Why? Sometimes he answers and sometimes I feel ignored.

In the next few posts I will talk about some of the questions I am waiting to be answered and all the things that come with waiting.